Husbands and Wives

5-7-2009

My father wrote a book called, Inside the Clubhouse, What men really think about women. The book is based on over three years of extensive research about the topic of men and women. One of the major themes of the book is the differences in the roles of men and women today as compared to forty years ago. The book is meant to be controversial, and chances are you aren’t going to agree with everything it has to say, as I certainly don’t, but none the less it’s still an interesting read about an interesting topic.

When in doubt, I turn to the bible as my source for knowledge about all topics, and as we continue our journey through Ephesians we get to the highly debated role of husbands and wives. Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” It’s at about this point when men start sticking their chest out in a “That’s right, I knew it” kind of way. Paul isn’t done though. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:25-28).

As you read Ephesians, Paul devotes a lot more time to instructing husbands than women, so men wake up! When the husband treats his wife the way she deserves to be treated, she will be honored to submit to him. It’s when the man doesn’t give his life for her, and puts his selfish desires over hers, the relationship becomes one sided. For a marriage to work, the husband needs to live for the wife and the wife needs to live for the husband. Where there are selfish desires, a breakdown in the marriage will start. Our world has become more and more selfish, and I truly believe that’s one of the reasons the divorce rate continues to sky rocket. When husbands and wives aren’t working on their relationship, the relationship starts to suffer.

We need to work on our relationship more so than you work on anything else! If men would devote as much time and focus on their wives as they do sports, think of how low the divorce rate would be! Women, focus the same amount of time on your husbands as you do on your kids. For parents, make sure the kids aren’t a stumbling block in your marriage. Remember, you will not “find” time to be with your spouse, you must “make” time. Have a weekly date night for just you and your spouse. Invest in your marriage and it will pay you dividends! Set the example of how a healthy marriage is supposed to be in front of your kids. Your kids are learning from you how to treat their spouse when they grow up, so make sure you are setting the right example!

Application:
1. Read Ephesians 5:22-33
2. Read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
3. Do something special for your significant other, and remember to put them first.