Divorce

7-2-2009

This is not the most enjoyable subject to speak about, but I do believe there’s a lot we can learn from these verses in Matthew that can help our everyday lives whether we are married or not. Divorce is not a random act; it’s usually a collection of events over a period of time that leads to the separation between a husband and a wife. Divorce is sort of the icing on the horrible tasting cake of messed up ingredients that we allow into the marriage. Marriage starts off great, and as time goes on, we can become complacent to what the marriage represents. Moreover, we become complacent with the very ones we marry.

Success happens by design. A successful marriage happens by design as well. Success doesn’t happen by accident but instead is the result of taking the proper actions over an extended period of time. If you want to be a great golfer, you have to play golf consistently for an extended period of time. In order to be the best dancer you can be, you must practice dancing consistently for an extended period of time. To be a happily married couple, you must work on your marriage consistently for FOREVER! If you stop working on your marriage, the evil ingredients of divorce start to make their way into your relationship. The same hold true for just about anything. If you stop practicing golf, you will become a bad golfer.

What are some of the steps to maintaining a healthy marriage? First, I would suggest you never lose sight of why you married the person you are with. It’s easy to find the bad in people, as we all have flaws. Instead, stay focused on why you married them. Second, never stop courting your spouse. My wife and I take a date every week. We don’t find time for a date night, we MAKE TIME for a date night. I turn the phone off, and give Haley 100% of my time. Third, be a selfless spouse. In other words, focus you energies on helping each other. If you do everything you can for her, and she does everything she can for you, you are going to be fulfilled. Also, understand that what makes you feel loved doesn’t necessarily make your spouse feel loved. I highly recommend the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is an easy read, and could literally save your marriage. I’ve got a lot to learn about being the best husband I can be, so I surely don’t claim to be an expert, but hopefully the items I’ve listed above will help.

There is one key to a successful marriage that I’ve saved for the end because it’s the most important item on the list. PRAY OVER YOUR MARRIAGE. I pray every day that I can be the best husband in the world, and Haley will be the best wife in the world. I pray that we will be more and more in love as we grow older and we always keep Christ at the center of our marriage. Divorce can be avoided if you take the proper steps early and often. The divorce rate in the US is over 50%! My suggestion to everyone in the world is to treat their marriage as the second most important thing they have next to their relationship with Christ. I feel too many of us give our spouse our left over time. We allow everything else to be the priority, and we allow problems in the marriage to occur and then we try to fix them. Let’s do the opposite. Let’s focus on creating an incredible marriage first, so we don’t have to try to clean up the mess. Prevent the mess!

Application:
1. Read Matthew 5:31-32
2. If you don’t have a date night on the calendar, schedule one now for every week.
3. Make your significant other a priority.